How Star Wars episodes 1, 2 and 3 could have been worse

I personally hope that Disney decides to de-cannonise episodes 1, 2 and 3 of Star wars and make their own version without any input from George ‘pisses on your childhood’ Lucas. My reasoning being that they really can’t make it worse. Which got me thinking. How could George have made it worse. Here is a list of ways the series could have caused you to rip your eyes from their sockets and swear to never watch TV or movies again. Starting from only slightly worse ideas and ending with an idea so horrible you may kill yourself just from reading it.

5. Have kid Annikin star in all three movies and keep his derpy, happy, lucky, bowl cut ways. #americanchildactorsonlyactderpyandcheerfulwithfewexceptions

4. devote all three solely to Annikin and Padme’s love affair. #onparifnotworsethantwilight

3. have even more senate debates that lead nowhere and no stakes battles between clones and drones.

2. make Annikin’s change to the darkside and subsequent actions even more illogical by, no wait it’s already as illogical as it can get. Maybe if he massacres even more children? Punches some babies? decides to go dark after watching frozen and connecting to the let it go song? Then do a sequence with him running over the bridge singing you’ll never see me cry while dual light sabre beheading kid jedi who are conveniently lining up along the bridge. (Wait that would make the film better)

1. make jar jar binks darth vader and then retro-cgi all movies to make the skywalkers all gungans who speak like jar jar, oh god the horror.

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