From a son to a dad.
There is something that you can only understand once you’ve become a parent. It’s not even worth explaining exactly what I mean. I just have to say that sentences and the parents will nod their heads and the non-parents will say ‘yeah yeah whatever.’ It’s true though. You are given an insight into your upbringing that you can’t get until you have kids.
When you become a parent you get this little human that is totally dependent on you. Not a little dependent like a cat or a dog. I mean totally dependent without you they’ll die dependent. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t had that what it’s like. I’d narrow the experience down to two states. One state is feeling like you are totally nailing this parenting thing and your kid is totally awesome in your eyes, the other state is feeling like you’re just making it up as you go and you have no idea if you are doing right by your kid. I guess I should say it’s a scale. Sometimes you are just in the middle there somewhere feeling like you are making it up as you go but getting it right, or feeling like you’ve got it all under control but something isn’t working. I was thinking about how great it feels to be at the top end of that scale. So the big question is how do you stay in that state?
There’s lots of factors that go into that feeling but it really boils down to two things that you must have if you want to be a good parent and raise healthy well adjusted kids. The first is a positive attitude and lavishing that positivity on your child. it doesn’t have to be over the top. Every day your child is doing something amazing though that should surprise you. Positivity really helps in being happy and energetic around your child too. Two things that really help in interacting with them. The other thing that all children need is for you to be loving. A loving atmosphere helps nurture the child to become a healthy well adjusted adult. It is impossible to enjoy parenting without love.
You may say that’s easier said than done but it’s the other way round. Positivity and love are both states of being. You can think yourself into them. Being positive is just a matter of looking at things in a good light. When your child is eating at the table and there’s a massive mess on the ground you can get frustrated and annoyed at the mess or happy and encouraging that your kid is eating. It’s all about what you want to focus on. Maybe in this particular instance you do want to focus on the mess. That’s fine too but you don’t need to be angry or frustrated about it. You can use it as a moment to teach your child the importance of cleaning up and encourage them to do it. In that way they will clean themselves and not see it as a chore but as another part of enjoying life.