The song “Let it go” is secretly about farting

Ever wonder why the song let it go is so popular with children? I mean unreasonably popular with children. I have a theory that I stumbled across quite by accident. One fine day I was joking around with my nephew singing the song let it go as if it was about farting. Something that uncles and nephews do the world over. To my absolute shock I realised the song is already about farting. And I don’t just mean the title. There are so many lines in this song that make it sound like the tragic story of a flatulent princess scorned by the court. Let’s break it down.

 

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight

Not a foot print to be seen,

A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I’m the queen.

 

So far not much hint of the flatulent princess, true, but the next two lines give us the first hint.

 

The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside

Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

 

I know I’ve had my fair share of times trying to keep back the swirling storm inside.

 

Don’t let them in don’t let them see

Be the good girl you always have to be

Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know.

Well now they know.

 

Here we start to learn the tragic story of the flatulent princess. Clearly there has been much pressure placed on her by the court and her overbearing parents to conceal her farts and bee a good girl. Going as far as barring others from entering rooms she’s farted in.

 

Let it go, let it go

Turn away and slam the door

Let it go, let it go

You’ll never hear me cry

I don’t care what they’re going to say

Let the storm rage on.

The cold never bothered me anyway.

 

I assume it’s pretty obvious how the words let it go link to farting. Turn away and slam the door is yet another hint at the measures the flatulent princess has had to go to to conceal her farts. Clearly the ridicule of court life has left her with a denial defence mechanism as she claims no one ever hears her cry. The final line rather than being an empowering statement in regards to having freezing super powers and how you aren’t effected by the cold becomes the words of someone forced to leave the building to fart.

 

It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small

And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.

It’s time to test the limits and break through

No rules for me, I’m free

Distance always makes farts seem small. Yet again we have hints of the lengths and measures our flatulent princess has to go to relieve herself in peace. Finally to the point of fleeing her castle.

 

Let it go, let it go,

I’m one with the wind and sky

Let it go let it go

You’ll never hear me cry

Here I stand and here I stay

Let the storm rage on

 

Personally, I’m one with the wind and sky is the best way to describe a fart I’ve ever heard. Which is all I really feel I need to say about this verse.

After this point the song gets very abstract in terms of it still being about a flatulent princess. The possibilities of analogies are still present just even more of stretch than my previous stretches. I’ve simply reached the conclusion that our flatulent princess escaped the overly judgemental court of her upbringing and went on to do lots of drugs.

Hope you enjoyed this take on the song let it go. Please pass it on so more people can be enlightened

(not) Getting a book published

I’ve recently finished writing a novel I’d like to get published. I’ve sent it off to a bunch of publishers and agents and now I’m just waiting. Publishers and agents generally say they’ll take at least six weeks to get back to you if they actually do. So what’s a writer to do? Keep on writing. I’ve reached the realisation that you can’t just sit on the one novel waiting for someone to decide it’s great. Finish it, edit it, pass it to friends to read, edit it some more, send it to a publisher or an agent (making sure it’s one that doesn’t charge fees because agents aren’t meant to charge fees, they work on commission) then move on. Don’t bother waiting for their response. It’ll drive you crazy. Start your next project. Repeat. Write long enough and your writing will become so smooth and easy that you’ll eventually get published. It’s the long game.

Being a writer

I’ve reached a point where I consider myself a writer. As in someone actively writing and trying to get published. I was thinking the other day about what I’ve learnt in the transition from considering myself an aspiring writer to one who is a writer. There is a big difference.

First up I want to point out that my own definition of what being a writer is doesn’t suggest that I’ve actually published anything. This is actually quite an important point. Before I considered myself a writer the fact that I hadn’t gotten anything published was a thorn in my side. As if publication is the point at which you become a writer. It isn’t. You have to have been working hard before you get to the point of publication. All that time you devote to it is time you spend being a writer.

So onto the turning point. I’ve been writing stories for about ten years. In the past three years I’ve been writing a lot more and trying to get my self published. What happened that made this change? Of course it starts with writing. I’ve been devoting a significant amount of my time to writing. The more you write the more you write. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. That’s not all there is to being a writer though. Of course it is a major part of it. Something that really changed everything for me though was sharing my stories around. Getting other people to read them. This is actually a huge step, one you should take. Don’t be shy about it. The point of writing is for someone to read what you’ve written. If you want to be able to walk into a bookstore and see a book with your name written on it then you have to share your story around. Get some fresh perspective on it. It’s actually really helpful.

The other big step was sending out manuscripts. About five years ago I actually had no idea how to send my manuscript to publishers. It was such a big barrier for me. It was like the four steps meme;

step 1 write

step 2 edit

step 3 …

step 4 publication.

About two years ago I found that it’s actually quite easy. Not so much getting published but finding places that’ll have a look at your manuscript. There are plenty of publishers out there who take unsolicited manuscripts. They may tell you no and they usually give you no reasons whatsoever but it’s still a start. It’s kind of like resume dropping. Send it out and you’ll get something. Even if its finding out that your story isn’t ready yet.

If I was to rewrite the above steps it’d look like this;

step 1 write

step 2 write some more

step 3 edit

step 4 send it out for a critique. Making a critique group is a good idea.

Step 5 rewrite based on critique

step 6 edit

Step 7 another critique; maybe different people

Step 8 find a publisher who accepts unsolicited unagented stuff or get an agent.

Step 9 wait around for about three or four months – maybe doing some writing

Hush little baby don’t say a word the realistic version

This is a rewrite of the classic lullaby with realistic actions instead of bizarre purchasing practices.

The original rhymes but I couldn’t be stuffed trying to make this rhyme.

Hush little baby don’t say a word, papas going to quickly check your nappy

If you’re still crying after a nappy change papas going to check if you’ve been fed recently.

If you’ve been fed and you’re still crying, papas going to try and give you a cuddle.

If you’re crying in papas arms, he’s going to try standing up while cuddling you.

If that still hasn’t changed your mind. Papas going to start pacing back and forward.

If pacing back and forward hasn’t stopped your crying, Papas going to keep on doing it for another hour

If you’re still crying after that hour. Papas going to tag out and pass you to mama.

If you’re still crying after being with mama. Papas going to try it all over again.

Parental Noir

I had to pick up the babe. It was raining so I had to go by car. She was inside waiting for me. She had short hair but you could tell she’d been trying to grow it out. Cute face and a laugh that could unfreeze even the coldest of hearts. She knew I was always due around this time. As usual she was glad to see me and happy to see the car. That changed when I accidentally bumped her head on the car roof. Clumsy me, Tears formed and she was screaming before long. I hugged her too me and climbed into the car. Fortunately she’s pretty easy to distract. I showed her her reflection and she was immediately mollified.I cruised off heading for home but get the idea it’d be nice to go to our favourite bakery. The wife had left some money on the table to get nappies. We could treat ourselves a bit. I took the back way to get there. No use driving on main roads. Too many cars, you never get to go beyond forty kilometres per hour. The babe started to get restless though. It distracted me and I missed the turn. I cursed. I’d have to take another street. It was always a risk in Japan. Take the next street and it was just as likely to add twenty minutes to your trip or put you on a road so narrow you weren’t even sure it was a road. I took my chances. I’d mollified the babe with promises that we were almost there. She seemed convinced for the moment. She was fine until I got to the next turn. I was grateful to see it. This road was going to link up. I turned in and almost had a head on with a four wheel drive. The road was two way but couldn’t fit more than one car. I backed up and let the woman go. She sat at the intersection not moving. I couldn’t figure out why she was just sitting there. Had she completely forgotten I was turning into her street and was waiting for me to go? Was she just stupid? Probably the latter. I cursed and babe started up again. The woman finally went and we got to the bakery.

The bakery is a nice little place nestled away in a little country town. It’s easy to miss unless you know about it. They’ve got a wood fire they use to cook the bread. I like this bakery. The bread is good and they give you free unlimited coffee. I had my fourth cup for the day. I should probably cut down. We snacked at the table they provided the babe satisfied that I hadn’t been lying. That she was going to enjoy where we were going. To top it off for her I bought a milk as we left. Dropping the change into my pocket. My wallet doesn’t have a coin section. It was a gift and looks nice but I’ve stopped carrying change for longer than a few hours. The next stop was to get the nappies.

Again the babe was getting annoyed at the trip. Annoyed enough that I promised myself I’d spend longer in the shop just to appease her. I found the nappies no worries but realised I was short two hundred yen. I couldn’t believe it. To get so close and be short two hundred. I cursed getting that extra milk. I wasn’t going to originally. But then I thought about it. It just didn’t add up. I was missing something. The bakery trip didn’t cost that much. The coins must have fallen out of my pocket while I drove. I went back to the car and searched like crazy. Checking every nook and cranny. To no avail. I turned up more coins but I was still short ten yen. Maybe they’d just let me have it. Not likely I sighed. I’d just have to except failure and try again. Have a conversation with lady of the house as to why there are no nappies and not enough money. I cursed. There had to be more money. I looked again. There should be a fifty yen piece somewhere. I know I saw it. I double checked under the steering wheel where a little ledge sat. There to my great relieve was a hundred yen piece. I gave a roar of triumph thankful that my mission wasn’t going to be a failure. I went back inside the shop only then realising that I had been narrating the whole experience to myself in the film noir style. I should cut down on the detective novels or maybe it’s just the coffee.

Encouraging Creativity

One of the things I appreciate the most about my childhood was my mum’s encouragement in all things creative. She was particularly encouraging of music and writing. I never really developed much of an aptitude for music but writing is now a hobby I hold dearest to my heart. My mum encouraged all of us to write short stories and poetry in our spare time. When we finished she’d type it up, print it out, bind the story with tape and get us to illustrate it. There are still copies of these stories around the house. They were quite good. The whole process was very enjoyable. My sister and I both share a love of writing and my brother is a genius on the piano. Although I don’t know if my brother would attribute his love of music to mum. Writing was more her thing. I hope to do the same for my children and continue the creativity streak running through my family.

Creating Worlds

How to create a fully functioning world for you to populate with characters and write stories about.

Writers are fortunate that they already have a fully functioning world to write stories about.  It’s very convenient.  All you need then is a scenario.  Something interesting happening in our world.  For crime fiction this scenario can be someone commits a murder.  The writer then goes about writing what would happen in our society if someone commits a murder.  Crime fiction often goes that extra step and asks what if someone committed an unsolvable crime.  How would you solve it?  What if you want more than just writing a story in our world though?  What if you want to create a completely new world?  How do you go about it?

I will give you my method.  How I create worlds.  To create a world all you need is a question.  Find one thing to change in our world and you immediately create a completely different world.  That may sound like an exaggeration but with the right tools one question changes everything.  Take the crime fiction.  Instead of the unsolvable murder we set it in a world where murder is perfectly legal.  Suddenly our story ceases being a crime fiction since the action isn’t a crime.  The first thing we need to answer when changing something about our world is; is this possible in our society? If our government made murder legal what would happen?  The answer is probably that society would fall apart within the year.  That could be your story right there except that it would never happen.   That’s how you know that such a thing wouldn’t function in our society.   So obviously we have to change our society to a society where not only could that happen but it has.  As the creator of worlds you now have to make the society functional.  It doesn’t have to be perfect.  In fact you can design it so that it’s on the brink of collapse.  However you do it.  Idealistic utopia or on the verge of anarchy or somewhere in between the society taking shape has to deviate from our society to make the new constant functional and believable.

How do you create this new society though?  A good starting point is with the typical Joe Blow of this world.  What is his life like?  You don’t need to give him much character or anything.  Just start up a dialogue with him as the average guy on the street.  Interrogate him about the world.  In this process it is important to remember that to Joe his world is totally normal and if he was a writer perhaps he’d be pondering what a world with murder as a crime would be like (well there’s a storyline idea already).   Ask him questions and the world will start taking shape around him.  For example:

Me:  So Joe, tell me, what would happen if you murdered your neighbour.

Joe:  Their friends and family would probably either come round and ask me why I did it or they’d kill me.  Or both.

Me:  Ok so people don’t kill each other because they’d probably be killed?

Joe:  Plenty of people are willing to take the chance.

Me:  oh Ok.  What about if you made it so that his friends and family couldn’t kill you or talk to you about it?

Joe:  How would I do that?

Me:  Maybe if you made your house impregnable?

Joe:  Build a castle?

Me:  Yea

Joe:  Oh I don’t have the resources for that.

Me:  What if you did?

Joe:  I suppose they’d try and destroy my castle  (another story idea)

Me:  What about people who do have the resources?  Do they have private armies and castles?

Joe:  Oh yea, the rich live in high security houses with a personal trained guard

Me:  Do the rich wage war on each other?

Joe:  It can happen.  if one company wants to take over another they can do it with force.  Usually it destroys the assets they want so it’s not that common. (another story line)

Me:  Do the rich kill people since they can’t be harmed?

Joe:  Some rich people hunt humans (another story line)

and so on…

Just so you know, I’m not working on any of those stories.  In fact I just wrote up that dialogue then based on that one simple question; what if murder was legal?  Now this may not be spot on.  That doesn’t matter, it’s not about doing a research paper on what the statistical probabilities are were we to make murder legal.  It’s about creating a believable world.  Maybe allowing people to kill each other would create some perfect kill free world.  Maybe they never had to specify not to kill people.  Maybe everyone is extremely polite and civil to each other terrified that the slightest social faux pas would result in their death.  Perhaps no one questions a murder because they assume the person deserved it.   Maybe the paranoia of being killed is too high for some people that they kill before they can be killed.  The possibilities go on.

This is how I create worlds.  I start with a question.  Then,  I put people in that world and start asking them questions.  Making characters who are experts in a certain area in that world also helps to flesh it out.  Instead of just a societal perspective you can also gain academic perspectives.  As the writer of this world you can interrogate anyone.  These characters need never even make it to the story you write.  They are there to bounce your ideas off.    In addition to fleshing out your world these dialogues create more and more questions.  One questions leads to many.

This is the way I do it.  I’d be interested to know how other people create worlds.

Even if you are not a writer, creating worlds is a fun logic puzzle.  Enjoy.